by Trey Nosrac

Series introduction is here.

Part 1 is here.

Part 2 is here.

Part 3 is here.

Part 4 ishere.

Part 5 ishere.

From:

Richmond County Correction Facility

2587 Co Route 64

Plattsburgh, Ohio, 44127

To:

Ted – Pinewood Harness Training Center

Route 21

Morrisville, OH, 42319

February 6, 2024

Dear Ted,

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

I wish I could say it face to face. An apology in an email or text felt sketchy, so I’m using the good old post office. Writing things down is helpful. You don’t know this, but while in the horse training program, I kept a journal as another part of my therapy. Writing a diary and working at the barn did not cure me. Nothing cures me, but they did help me.

Of course, I slipped back to the dark side, as you can tell with the return address, another stupid, gruesome, unforgivable slide into using, selling, stealing, degrading myself. It would be nice if I could make excuses or blame others, but it is what it is. Nobody can understand my ridiculous, hurtful actions unless they have been in my skin. Heck, I don’t understand it.

Thank you.

As I sit here and write this letter, I realize that the weeks working at the horse training center were great. You were kind, your staff was great, and for a while, I saw a glimpse of a better future. Please thank everyone at the training center for me. I miss the horses, those big bright eyes, the smell when I brushed them, the silly little snorts and nuzzles.

Today, I met with a parole officer, and he outlined my release next month, which will, once again, involve a rehab stint. My parole officer said something that stuck: ‘Brigette, don’t think of this episode as going backward. Think of it as going sideways because better times are not as far away if you go sideways.’

Ted, asking for help has always been difficult for me. Accepting help, like the horse training opportunity and other helping hands along my journey, is difficult for me to do. Nobody can help me but me. Still, I am reaching out, asking you to consider something. If you are uncomfortable, I one 100 per cent understand.

When I finish my next rehab, can you find a place for me to work at the center? I will work dirt cheap and pay for my daily drug testing. I will test in the morning and evening. My retired uncle has a big RV on the rear of his property. He has reached out to let me live there. It is less than 20 minutes to the horse training center, and he will drive me to tests and NA meetings and work until I can get a used car and license.

I know this is a big ask. People like me are headaches, but two things might help me stay clean, a purpose and those damn horses that chase away the clouds.

All the best,

Bridgette Malone

From:

Pinewood Harness Training Center

Route 21

Morrisville, OH, 42319

To:

C/O

Bridgett Morris

Richmond County Correction Facility

2587 Co Route 64

Plattsburgh, Ohio, 44127

February 10, 2024

Dear Bridgette,

I was disappointed to learn about your relapse. It is upsetting anytime someone leaves. We work hard to create a good work environment, but people have problems. Every person has issues. Those of us on the outside of addiction will never completely understand those of you who live it.

Your return to the racetrack or the training center can’t happen. Due to your incarceration and arrest record, the State Racing Commission will not issue you a groom’s license. You were at the training center on a trial basis. You were a volunteer in a therapeutic experiment, monitored and tested.

Honestly, Bridgette, my answer would be no if you could get a license from the harness racing authorities. My days are full of many problems and disappointments from humans and horses.

While there is a shortage of dependable help at training centers and the harness racing backstretch, the keyword is dependable. While I sympathize with your situation, you would be one more potential problem and disappointment.

I do believe in redemption and recovery. I also believe in the “magic” of working with horses.

I want to believe in you, but employment with me is not an option at this point in your journey.

Keep fighting,

Ted

From:

Richmond County Correction Facility

2587 Co Route 64

Plattsburgh, Ohio, 44127

To:

Ted

Pinewood Harness Training Center

Route 21

Morrisville, OH, 42319

February 14, 2024

Dear Ted,

I totally understand your letter. I blew my chance at the farm. You have enough headaches.

You and the farm went above and beyond. Sadly, I continue to go up and down.

Here is a little trivia. When I arrived at this prison, I decided to keep writing a journal. I asked for a pen and paper. They said no because pencils and pens are potential weapons. However, at the commissary, they sell “prison pens,” they are made of very flexible rubber and cannot stab through a Kleenex.

Next week, they will release me on parole. The plan is to return to my mom’s house, report to my PO, and attend daily NA meetings. I’m no stranger to NA meetings. Maybe this time, they will stick.

Ted, one of these days, I will be free of my struggles. When I am, I will find my way back to those horses. Those big round eyes, random snorts, and swishing tales are in my dreams.

Dreams do come true.

Thanks for your kindness and support!

Bridgette Malone