by Trey Nosrac

At four o’clock in the afternoon, near the open French doors leading into the empty dining room of Mulligan’s Restaurant at Columbia Hills Country Club, a stocky young woman with blonde hair pulled back into a tight ponytail paused and brushed invisible lint from the right shoulder of her blue sweater.

She stood in the doorway, nervously scanning the empty room. Her eyes settled on a fish tank in the center of the room. The silo-shaped glass aquarium was unique, perhaps five feet in diameter and six feet high. The woman noticed a green turtle, the size of an upside-down soup bowl, laboring across colored pebbles as zebra fish darted above. As she watched, a stranger, a young man in a crisp blue long-sleeved shirt, stepped to her side and removed his sunglasses. She gave him an exaggerated shrug.

Before they could say anything, a voice behind the couple startled them. “Lily, Michael.”

They turned to find a man, perhaps 60, very fit, barely over five feet tall, removing his golf visor from his gray buzz cut and extending his right hand, “Art, Art Pfeifer. Thank you for coming.”

Michael shook the hand first. When Lily shook Art’s hand, she hung on and asked, “What are we doing here?”

Art gestured with his visor to a round oak table close to the fish tank. “Let’s have a seat. I’ll tell you all about it.”

When they settled into chairs, a middle-aged waitress, or possibly waiter, a tweener in tight blue jeans and circus clown red hair, appeared from the kitchen and asked if they needed something to drink. Lily ordered a sweet tea and Michael said sweet tea would be fine. Art signaled with three fingers and said, “Thanks, Lou.”

Lou or Lew was not a gender clue, but the person turned to fetch the drinks. Art leaned forward and said, “I’m sure you Googled me.”

Lily said, “You own Pfeifer Plumbing and HVAC, the largest sub-contracting company in the state. You serve on several boards, raise racehorses, are married with two grown children and are an amateur archaeologist.”

Art smiled and said, “The Internet is amazing.” He paused. “I also know quite a bit about both of you. Not to sound creepy, but your selection was not random. A vetting process brought you to this table and someone you know received a stipend, a finder’s fee. You both have education and a host of assets we appreciate. My company specializes in re-energizing the cream of apprentice dropouts.”

Michael said, “Was it Tucker from the Union, the guy I worked with for three months?”

Art nodded. “Tucker and others were very positive. You learn quickly, have a personality and show a solid work ethic.”

“But if you talked to Tucker, you know I quit. Who recruits a guy who quits?”

“A guy who knows why you quit.”

The red-haired person appeared with our drinks, set them down and told Art, “Jack just pulled in.”

Art gave a thumbs up and turned to his guests, “One of the secrets to my success is that I employ good people. You know plumbing is a lucrative business, the work is steady and immune from most market fluctuations and you understand there are not enough good employees available. Oh, I know that plenty of candidates begin apprenticeships. Still, the drugs, the laziness, the lack of initiative, the dependability problems. So many factors wean away a high percentage of applicants.” He paused, then added, “For most companies.”

Lily said, “We also know it is four friggin years until you start making serious money, pardon the language.”

A man approached the table looking like a magazine model in his sports coat and open-necked white shirt. He nodded at Art, slid into the remaining chair, sat down and said, “I’m Jack. I work for Art. Ten years ago, I sat where you are sitting now. I started an apprentice program with another company and bailed after a few months.”

“Tell them what you earned last year?” Art said.

“$125,000 before perks.”

“Perks?” asked Lily.

“Paid health insurance, five weeks’ vacation, childcare, membership to this Club, individual tutoring during your apprentice, half ownership of a racehorse, other things.”

“A country club membership? Half a racehorse?” asked Lily.

Art leaned back and said, “Let me be as clear as possible. My success depends on my employees. If I have a secret, it is recruiting, employing and retaining good people like you. After much snooping, research and interviewing, I believe in you.”

Michael sipped his tea and said, “I know plumbing is a good business. I know what a country club is, but what the hell is with the horse?”

Jack took the reins, “That’s the same question I asked 10 years ago. Here’s the deal, Artie raises these racehorses, harness racehorses. He has a couple of beautiful farms where he raises horses and then sends them off to learn to be racehorses. Artie cedes each employee a percentage of one of his horses. If your horse earns money racing, you get money at the end of the year, like a bonus.”

Lily googled her eyes and said, “That’s crazy. What if you don’t like horse racing?”

Jack said, “You still get the money. You’re going to be surprised. The horse perk is fun and participating in the sport is addictive. I’d guess about half of us get into the sport to some degree. The longer you stay with the company, the higher the percentage of ownership Artie offers. After 10 years, you own 50 per cent of your horses’ earnings.

Art said, “It’s different, hopefully not crazy. Twelve years ago, when I began the horse bonus programs, I carefully considered each perk. The horse ownership, the country club and several other perks have a serious purpose. Our employee retention rate is the best in the business and over 90 percent of Pfeifer employees remain for over a decade.”

The room was quiet for a few moments, then Artie continued. “Plumbing work is essential and in high demand, but not glamorous. All the concepts I enacted into my business are for a reason. Michael and Lily, you check all the boxes we look for, but we know the four-year apprentice is a huge obstacle. Union rules prevent us from throwing money at you, so we attempt to bridge the gap with perks. Perks are normal in white-collar work, but not in blue-collar work.”

Jack smiled and said, “And it works. The people you meet if you join our team are top shelf. We all have a lot in common after participating in his perks. Artie concocts new ones to keep things lively in what can be a solitary profession. For example, Artie has made a lot of horse racing fans. We are finding out that when we get together for a cruise, dinner, or Christmas party, we can discuss horse racing until the cows come home.”

Lily asked, “But we were quitters. We both left apprentice programs.”

Artie raised a finger, “You quit for reasons. Four years seems too long. The work wasn’t glamorous and the serious money was far away. When you backed out the first time, you were unsure this career was viable. My job is to make you see this is a viable career by bridging the early years using fun and perks.”

“Me, a country club member, a racehorse owner?” repeated Lily.

Artie smiled, “After lunch, we will ride to my farm. I’m determined to harness your talents.”