Wild Pitch

Wild Pitch

July 4, 2021

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by Trey Nosrac

Are you a trainer looking for a wealthy owner? Are you a harness racing handicapper who is tired of getting pummeled by the whales and high takeout? Are you a small-time breeder who wants to promote your yearling? Do you have a new racing product or initiative?

Sitting on the pier, watching the harness racing ship sail on or sink, will not change your situation. It would be best if you tried stuff, like this… A handprinted envelope with no return address arrives in the mail.

August 12, 2021

Hello Roland, (or whoever is reading your mail)

Relax, this is not a ransom note.

I thought it would be cool to write a letter in longhand and send it via US mail, something I have not done since the fourth grade when Mrs. Mitten made each of her pupils write a letter to a fourth grader in Argentina. My pen pal was Juan Carlos Rodriquez. We even enclosed our return address with postage stamps. Most of my classmates got a letter back. Not me. Hope I have better luck with you.

Why you? I am in search of a wealthy person for an experiment. You popped onto my radar screen when you purchased the luxury yacht Pomponius.

During the processing of the Pomponius paperwork, a friend of mine who owed me a favor for helping her cousin Delbert out of a jam took a screenshot of the Hull Identification Number page and forwarded it to me. The information contained your name and address. My actions may not be permissible and are certainly unorthodox, but hopefully, you have a sense of whimsy.

My thinking is that anyone who spends $7 million dollars on a boat has some loose change to invest in other exotic items. Clever, huh?

Roland, you might not be in the same money league as the Vanderbilts or the Rockefellers, but these wealthy people found themselves a tad bored sitting on their money. They found a pastime that fulfilled them for the rest of their lives — raising and racing trotting horses.

They discovered that money invested in experiences brings more happiness than money invested in objects. They were ahead of their time. Psychological research indicates that spending money on experiences is much more enjoyable than buying things like boats and Rolex watches.

At this point, you may be rolling your eyes and thinking, “This clown is trying to sell me a horse.” Not true. I plan to interest a novice like you in a multi-faceted adventure where I will be your guide.

Wealthy people dabble in the horse racing game all the time. However, several things are different in my proposition.

First, it is essential that you know little to nothing about this sport, but you are curious to learn something new. Second, any horse you buy or raise will be your responsibility for the lifetime of the horse. Third, there is absolutely no promise of making money.

I can promise a romp into a fascinating field lead by a quirky, attentive, irreverent guide. You will enjoy a few years with me more than you will with the Pomponius at a fraction of the expense.

I will close without over-explaining. My guess is that, just like Juan Carlos from Argentina, you will stiff me without a response, but hope springs eternal. Dude, we could have a blast.

Email me at: TBDtrot@gmail.com



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