Subjects needed for longshot experiment

by Trey Nosrac

Trey is a big advocate of trying new experiments and writing about what happens when those experiments are put into action. It isn’t always pretty, but it’s always pretty interesting. Of course, there is a thin line between a controlled scientific experiment and hopping off a barstool and bellowing, “Let’s do this!”

Trey is considering a new, rigorously controlled, documented experiment. The plan is to participate in the ownership of a yearling trotting horse. Lest you say that this is not new, I would disagree for two reasons.

1 – Every yearling is a new experiment.

2 – A dozen newbies will be included in this dance through our beloved sport.

The plan hinges on finding a dozen people who do not know the difference between a smooth-gaited trotter and a leaping **serval. Optimally, the subjects will be naturally curious, not litigious, have a good sense of the absurd, and reside in locations that do not have a harness racing footprint, such as Alaska, Idaho, Montana, Hawaii, or Tahiti.

The only requirement for these participants is an email address where I can forward email HRU columns on the first Sunday of each month. The only thing these dozen people pay is attention (hopefully). No names, no money, no contracts, no nada. Serious efforts will be made so that you will not know me, and I will not know you.

Why would Thelma from Tahiti or Mike from Montana want to receive monthly copies of a column about a sport she probably never heard of? Trey’s answer, as it is far too often, would be – why not?

Imagine that Thelma at [email protected] is a member of the mailing list. For a minor investment of time, she will learn about a baby horse, where it came from, why it was purchased, what the purchasers’ dreams are, how a trotter spends the first eight months of a racing career, and all the strange twists and turns that make our sport, in our minds, so engaging.

The monthly presentations will be light-hearted and whimsical. The horse will be real.

A small carrot will be put before the cart. At the end of the two-year-old racing season (around October, 2027), should the young horse have earned money, each of the dozen travelers on the internet journey will share five percent of the net profits as a participation stipend.

If my math is correct, if the trotter clears fifty thousand dollars after my expenses, each of you will receive a couple of hundred bucks in gift cards. Do not rely on any income from this horse. With Trey involved, the probabilities of earning money on this yet-to-be-selected yearling are about the same as a meteorite landing in your backyard barbecue pit. But our sport is built on such dreams.

There are methods and motives for this madness.

HRU will increase circulation by at least twelve subscribers.

Fresh, perhaps, young blood may be injected into our sport.

I will prove that geography is no longer a barrier to participating in our sport.

Thelma might become the most knowledgeable person in town when it comes to harness racing.

Most of all, we might have some fun.

I have created a temporary email account – [email protected].

Now, a request. Search your memory banks. Consider the parameters of this experiment. Consider distant friends whom you have never infected with harness horse fever. Forward this column. If they are interested, they can send their email address (or, like me, create a separate, new email account to retain immunity and plausible deniability).

Optional for applicants is a two-sentence bio and location. It would be fun to find people from interesting geographic corners. Should I harvest a dozen potential followers, they will be notified.

**Serval — A slender African wild cat with long legs and exceptional jumping ability.