by Trey Nosrac

EXTERIOR: NIGHT

ESTABLISHING SHOT: The camera captures the redbrick exterior of a tidy bar. The camera pans to a blinking neon sign that reads “Bookies Tavern and Grill.”

INTERIOR: WIDE SHOT: A large room with the usual array of round tables and chairs. In the back of the room is a portable accordion partition wall that divides the space into two rooms with three walls and an open front. Only a few patrons remain. Quiet jazz music plays in the yellow light.

PAN: In the partitioned room on the left, two men sit side by side at a large round table, facing forward, with six empty chairs, empty bottles, and plates littering the table. A pair of men remain from an earlier meeting.

ZOOM IN: Two men at one of the tables. One is in his sixties and bald, wearing a white shirt and a sweater vest. The other man is in his forties, with blonde hair pulled into a ponytail, wearing jeans and a faded red t-shirt. The ponytailed man speaks as he peels the paper label off a beer bottle.

TREY

So, there is no way you’ll continue hosting the monthly Paperback Riders meeting using Zoom?

LAURENCE

(Scratches his bald head)

No, 14 years was a good run. My goal was for guys like us to socialize and discuss books, an alternative to the million ladies’ book clubs. Tom can take it from here. I get it. Why travel and spend money when you can discuss books on your laptop or phone?

TREY

People get lazy. I used to buy the books. Then, I began downloading and listening to audio versions.

LAURENCE

(Pensive)

I’ll miss our monthly sessions. A different book each month, quite a ride.

TREY

Laurence, you did a good thing. We all appreciate everything. Even Morris told me once that you were the only person in Baltimore who could keep us odd ducks in line.

LAURENCE

Now, that’s a compliment I’ll treasure.

(They pause to sip their beers pensively.)

We ARE odd birds, becoming extinct like the dodo. Not just book readers but me with my poetry, Tom with his goal of riding every railroad line in America, you with your harness racing passion, and Mike with his Shanty singing group.

TREY

You notice the pattern: we ain’t afraid of mingling with other people, of looking like fools, or coloring outside the box – you don’t see that as much as you used to, and I think you will see much less in the future.

LAURENCE

Do you ever think about leaving your estate to your daughter?

TREY

No.

LAURENCE

Why not?

TREY

I don’t have a daughter, son, or offspring of any gender. So, this subject isn’t heading for conversation gold.

LAURENCE

What would you do with your money if you had a daughter with children and an estate?

TREY

No idea.

LAURENCE

Very helpful. (sigh) Well, I have a daughter and two young grandsons. My daughter is a mess. The only time she takes her ears or her eyes off her phone is to marry a scumbag loser or give birth to a child from a scumbag loser who will divorce her before the baby burps three times.

TREY

It appears you are dealing with more than an estate distribution dilemma.

LAURENCE

Yeah, I worry about her and the kids. Right now, I’m the only person protecting her from food stamps and the real world.

TREY

I have no estate worries after 30 years of gambling on horse racing.

LAURENCE

It’s not the money. My daughter is um, vulnerable.

TREY

You would have been better off squandering your money on slow horses like me. My estate is all arranged. All I gotta do is quit paying rent and slip a note under my neighbor’s door to say she can have my Honda Accord in exchange for caring for my dog, a border collie named Trotter.

LAURENCE

(Deflated)

Giving my daughter a chunk of money will cause her more harm. She’s a load, lost in the Internet, following blogs. She is a digital fish waiting to get continually hooked. She’s a lousy mother and emotionally stunted.

TREY

Emotionally stunted! Yowza, whadda ya call me behind my back?

LAURENCE

At least you have friends. You go to the racetrack, and you have a real life. (Sighs) I’m glad I lived in the generation that I did.

TREY

Agreed, I’m glad the first few of my racetrack years were in the grandstands and not online.

LAURENCE

Remember books, music on CD’s, and human friends?

TREY

Good times. (Pause) I got a suggestion on your estate distribution problem, and no, it doesn’t have anything to do with forking over money to me.

LAURENCE

Do tell.

TREY

It’s a little kooky.

LAURENCE

Trey, I’ve known you for six years. I’d expect nothing less. Somewhere on your tombstone will be the term ‘Untethered by norms.’

TREY

Remember, this suggestion comes from a horseplayer after four Miller Lites.

LAURENCE

My friend, you are breathing and not an AI hologram.

TREY

Okay, follow my thinking. I can hook you up with a trainer friend at the racetrack. Every year, he buys about a dozen yearlings. I trust the guy with my life. He is a bachelor, would welcome company, and could be a good influence.

LAURENCE

My daughter doesn’t seem interested in horse racing or anything else.

TREY

No problem. You set up one of those trust things for your daughter. When you kick the bucket, the trust kicks in.

LAURENCE

So far, that’s ridiculous, but please continue.

TREY

After your funeral, your daughter discovers that you have arranged for her and three of her human girlfriends to share ownership of a baby horse the trainer has picked out. Your daughter must make a few promises to collect the estate.

LAURENCE

Like stipulations?

TREY

(Nods)

They must physically visit the training center once per month during training, which is about six to eight visits. They get to rename their harness horse. If the horse races, they need to go to the racetrack. Your daughter will take her kids and your grandkids on these visits. All participants in this lunacy must pinkie-swear on a Taylor Swift poster that the visits will be 100 per cent phone-free. Should they agree to the terms, this ownership adventure is free, and any winning money is theirs.

LAURENCE

What if they renege and can’t get off the phone?

TREY

Any money the horse wins goes to charity.

LAURENCE

Do you think this is legal or possible?

TREY

Maybe, but I have another version of this plan.

LAURENCE

Just as wacky?

TREY

Try the plan while you’re still alive. Don’t give up on your daughter or your grandkids. Keep knocking on the barn door. Give the sport a try with them. You’ll enjoy it, and there’s magic in that straw and those horses.

FADE TO IRIS CUT