by Trey Nosrac

EXTERIOR

EARLY MORNING: Silhouette of two men in a rowboat drifting on a small lake. Mist rises from the water. Insect sounds, light ripples, and soft nature sounds are the background for the conversation. The camera moves in on the men.

TREY

Why do fishermen start early in the morning? It’s not like fish check the clock.

LAURENCE

Each fisherman has their own thing. Mine is an early start, coffee, donuts, three hours maximum, and I toss back every fish I catch. It’s a meditative thing.

TREY

I’m sort of like that at the racetrack. I like the morning when horses are training. I find an empty racetrack or training center or pull my car up to the fence of a fairground. I’m not doing anything. It’s just peaceful.

LAURENCE

Hey, I got an idea racing.

TREY

Really.

LAURENCE

Yeah. Last week, you carefully walked me through opening an account, depositing money, and wagering $50 on a horse named Flimflam in the fifth race on Friday at Freehold Raceway. You stated without equivocation that I would be glad I made this bet because the horse was a bomb waiting to go off and could not lose.

TREY

Sorry about that.

LAURENCE

No problem.

TREY

That trotting race should be the poster child for the worst trip in history. Flimflam traveled about a quarter of a mile more than the winner.

LAURENCE

Whatever. The part of the process that gave me an idea for the sport was watching my computer screen after the bugle and roll call of horses in the post-parade.

TREY

Yeah, what about it?

LAURENCE

There was no sound for about five minutes, no music, no voices, and no microphone to pick up hoofs or snorts. I kept looking for an unmute button on my computer.

TREY

Dead Air.

LAURENCE

Mortally dead air.

TREY

You want to fill it?

LAURENCE

Me? No, but the people who put on the show should want to fill the dead air.

TREY

With what?

LAURENCE

When I went with you to the racetrack a couple of times, my favorite part was listening to people brag, boast, tease, and sometimes get steamed up about what happened in the previous race and what they KNEW would occur in the next race.

TREY

Yeah, we do get a little rowdy. We were sort of the forerunners of cable talk news shows. We would do anything for attention. We had our little tribes.

LAURENCE

I remember somebody throwing a handful of popcorn at you.

TREY

Horseracing does not have many of those grandstand characters anymore.

LAURENCE

Too bad.

TREY

(Smiles)

They were part of the ambiance involved in going to the races.

LAURENCE

So why not have a handful of know-it-all characters act like clowns during the dead air of the livestream after the bugle?

TREY

Would they be paid?

LAURENCE

I don’t know.

TREY

Would they be real?

LAURENCE

Of course.

TREY

I mean, should they be performing, you know, like fake reality shows, or should they be ordinary guys or women yakking?

LAURENCE

That is an interesting question. It’s somewhat esoteric and philosophical. I find human beings speaking intelligently without a script refreshing. Still, most of the world appears more interested in people who are naked and afraid and who shockingly find themselves in the jungle and need to build a water filtration system with a phony deadline.

TREY

Not a fan?

LAURENCE

No. If Americans banned fake reality programs and game shows, people would have time to return to the racetrack.

TREY

Easy Tiger, your snobbishness is showing. But your idea for filling the dead air between races is a solid recommendation. Filling the dead air doesn’t even need to be official. Maybe tap into a live podcast for a pattering provocative panel of prognosticators or even a solitary loudmouth.

LAURENCE

The idea is undoubtedly an improvement over $50 on Flimflam in the fifth at Freehold.

FADE TO CUT