The optimistic pessimist

by Trey Nosrac

DESCRIPTION:

This scene takes place in a horse stable early on a Sunday morning, with long beams of dusty sunlight streaming through the gaps of the weathered wooden slats. The snorting of horses and occasional clop of hooves add to a peaceful ambiance. Bales of hay and straw are stacked neatly across the aisle from the stalls, and bags of harness racing tack hang neatly.

CHARACTERS:

Two men stand outside a stall gate and peer inside at one of the horses. They speak in low voices. A bay horse moves to the stall gate, and the tall man with a ponytail, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, strokes its mane. The first voice we hear is the older man, overweight, bald, and tentative, near the horse.

ROLAND

So, this is your latest wannabe wonder horse, Lady Somersby?

TREY

She hasn’t raced yet but shows great promise (Trey scratches behind the horse’s ear). She’s my latest equine dream.

ROLAND

What do you see when you look at your beloved sport of harness horse racing in 10 years?

TREY

(Deep sigh) I see packed grandstands, happy people, beautiful horses, low takeouts.

ROLAND

Really?

TREY

Sure. Of course, I might be dead and hopefully in the vicinity of heaven.

ROLAND

C’mon, get real. What’s the future for your trotting and pacing friends?

TREY

(Another sigh)

Cloudy with a chance of sudden storms followed by panic, poverty, and chaos. Our main problem will be a lack of revenue, a problem that has torpedoed about a hundred excellent sports like backward speed walking and velodrome bicycle racing.

ROLAND

That’s depressing.

TREY

You tell me where the money comes from when casinos jettison horse racing, and today, everybody can wager on everything with two taps of a finger.

ROLAND

I’m usually a pessimist, and you’re the eternal optimist.

TREY

I swing both ways. To quote George Will, the nice part of being a pessimist is that you are constantly either being proved right or pleasantly surprised. My friend, if you have any brilliant ideas to surprise me about the fate of harness horse racing, fire away.

ROLAND

(Scratches his head)

(Pulls out his phone)

(Pushes buttons and reads)

This year, in the United States, almost 5,000 individuals from 250 clubs are playing polo. The United States Trotting Association has around 18,000 members.

TREY

So, we have more people than polo. What’s your point?

ROLAND

My point is that polo exists without significant wagering. Polo is an equine passion that has economics but is more social.

TREY

A bunch of Uber rich with strings of horses, chilled martinis, and crumpets. That’s a long way from harness racing.

ROLAND

Let me play optimist and try to find a few opportunities in the looming dark clouds drifting over your sport.

TREY

Play away.

ROLAND

As an outsider who does not gamble, two aspects of your sport intrigue me.

TREY

Roll on Roland.

ROLAND

Your sport has a history, while my interest is not racing, great horses, famous drivers, or trainers. I find the history of the vehicles that horses PULLED during the birth of our nation interesting. I was roaming the internet last night and got lost in the various stagecoaches, phaetons, buggies, barouches, carts, wagons, and carriages.

TREY

What are you suggesting – a museum? We have a museum in New York. I’ve been there, very cool.

ROLAND

No. Although a horse-drawn vehicle museum is not a bad idea. Thousands of people enjoy restoring and reconstructing old cars. They could do the same for horse-driven vehicles; I could see myself doing that.

TREY

That’s nice to know, but that isn’t a savior for harness racing; it’s more of an off-the-wall possible hobby.

ROLAND

True, but here is another idea. Your sport offers more participation than other equine endeavors. While I would never ride on a horse, I would happily drive a horse down a country lane. That is another concept that feels enticing to me.

TREY

So, you might own a carriage or two and keep a horse or two to pull it. Huh, I never thought of that, but now that you mention it, if outfits set up places to keep the horses and vehicles and pleasing trails, lanes, and paths to travel, I might take the five or 10 grand I toss away gambling every year and join you in this hustle and bustle high tech world.

ROLAND

(Sweeps his arm across the stable)

I find this place, the calmness, the horses, the smells, and the sounds enjoyable. I could see myself coming out here every week if I owned a horse and had someplace to ride around.

TREY

(nods)

A respite.

ROLAND

Facilities in remote sections of the state for people to escape modern everyday life could offer business opportunities and jobs for harness horse people should the wheels fall off your gambling sport.

TREY

(They turn and walk towards the open barn door)

Your ideas are long shots but much better than no shots, and they would create some small non-gambling havens from the potential storms. Thanks for thinking about us. And I like the idea of restoring or reconstructing a horse-drawn vehicle. You piqued my interest and planted a seed.

ROLAND

That’s what optimists do.

CUT