by Trey Nosrac
Growth for our sport is difficult but necessary. Would you accept this invitation?
August 21, 2021, 4:57 PM
From: Trey Trey@zoominternet.net
7:30 p.m. Friday, Sept. 24, 2021
You, me, and five other reprobates of your acquaintance
10 $5 bills
Large flatscreen television
Beer, soda, hotdogs, and snacks
Race program pages
A perfecta pot (empty fishbowl)
A Perfecta Party will be like a Pampered Chef party for guys. The differences are that nobody will sell you a salad spinner or discuss granite counters versus butcherblock. I will be your host and master of ceremonies. I will host for free. However, if this catches on, there will be a hosting fee to cover refreshments and potential damage to furniture and equipment in the future.
Please note: This is a non-smoking facility, and you must have received your vaccine.
Three of you are handicappers of harness races. Two are not. At first glance, this may appear to give the “handicappers” an advantage; however, the three alleged handicappers are so bad at choosing horses in a race that they would not have an advantage over a monkey with a magic marker.
The contest that is the focus of the evening is straightforward. We will watch harness horse races on my flat screen. Every 10 minutes, I will select a race with approximately five minutes to post.
You will select a perfecta in the upcoming race (first and second place finishers).
You will write your name on a file card and list your perfecta selection. Like this: Eddie P, 6 – 2 (first place #6, second place #2)
You place $5 in the fishbowl and hand me your file card.
When everyone has completed the process, I will scotch tape the file cards below the screen.
We watch the race.
Should anyone win (pick the perfecta) they take the contents of the fishbowl. If nobody wins, we repeat the process and add to the fishbowl.
For those of you who are casual racing fans, selecting a perfecta appears easy. You may ask, “How difficult can it be to pick the first two horses of a race in order?”
The answer is: quite difficult for many of us.
I have not successfully wagered a cold perfecta since the first Obama Inauguration.
*See below for an answer for two sequential numbers from a group of ten.
But I digress.
After nine races, if no player has won, the drama will build to a fever pitch (and if my math is correct, the total in the fishbowl will be $270 from the nine $30 deposits). For the tenth race, the rules change slightly. There is no additional deposit in the 10th and final race, and you will select ONLY A SINGLE WINNER.
The winner takes it all (or splits it with anyone who has the same winning selection).
Should nobody select a winner in the 10th race, there will be an 11th race for the pot of money.
Your iPad can pull up each race page, so you will have a few minutes to research (handicap) your selections.
You can, of course, simultaneously wager as much as you wish on the races using your iPad if our little in-home game does not satisfy your gambling itch or occupy your mind.
Bring 10 $5 bills. No credit cards, coins, checks, bitcoins or IOUs are permitted. The legality of this party, and several of you, is somewhat suspect, and we do not want to leave a paper trail. There will be an evaluation sheet at the end of the evening because I might franchise.
RSVP Regrets Only via text or email by noon Thursday, so I know how much beer to order and how many breakable objects to place in a safe area.
* Probabilities of selecting a cold perfecta disregarding handicapping. Two racehorses are chosen randomly from a group of 10. What probability was horse #2 (Jumping Jimmy) if selected first, and Horse #6 (Gorgeous George) is selected second?
According to the Internet, the probability of Jimmy being selected first is 1-10.
The probability of George being selected second is 1-9, because there is one less racehorse to choose.
The probability of both events is the product of the two independent events.
1-10 • 1-9 = 1-90