This is for all the lonely people

by Trey Nosrac

“This is for all the lonely people.

Thinkin’ that life has passed them by…”

Despite running only 2 minutes and 27 seconds, Lonely People by America became a major hit in 1974, climbing all the way to number 5 on the Billboard charts. This was a time when people, even teenagers, talked to each other without a screen between them. We had groups of friends. We sat around for hours talking about absolutely nothing. We drove around aimlessly. We argued about sports, music, girls, horses, and life itself. Sometimes we even sang together.

It turns out that the song may have been 40 years ahead of its time. Because somewhere along the road, people stopped gathering the way they once did. Now people sit alone, glued silently to glowing screens which give us the illusion of connection.

Today, both old and young often feel insulated and alone, and those feelings are not imaginary. Not long ago, the United States Surgeon General released a report titled Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. The statistics were startling, although many people, especially men, were probably not surprised at all.

The pandemic did not create loneliness, but it accelerated an epidemic already underway. Social media is not nearly as social as it appears. Artificial intelligence quietly steers us into commercialized silos designed to capture our attention rather than deepen interpersonal relationships. Over the past several decades, the number of men who report having close personal friends — or even one close friend — has fallen dramatically.

Loneliness is not just sad; it is unhealthy.

So how do you fight back against the loneliness epidemic? As I read through the Surgeon General’s recommendations, a thought occurred to me: our silly little sport accidentally checks many of the boxes scientists now recommend for healthier human connections. Oddly enough, harness racing may be one of the better antidotes to loneliness in modern society.

BE PROACTIVE

As the song says, “You never know until you try.”

Trying is the hardest part. It is easy to remain inside the cocoon; endlessly scrolling through carefully slanted information, manufactured outrage, and mind-numbing entertainment. Unfortunately, isolation tends to feed on itself. The longer people remain disconnected, the more difficult reconnecting becomes.

Only you can break the cycle. That means intentionally arranging personal interactions. Not online. Not through text messages. Not by sending silly little darts on social media posts, but by actual human interaction.

One of the wonderful things about harness racing is that the barn doors are literally open at fairgrounds and training centers. You can walk through them. You can ask questions. You can stand along a fence and watch horses train while conversation happens naturally beside you.

PARTICIPATE IN A HOBBY OR ACTIVITY

The Surgeon General’s report strongly recommends hobbies and group activities as protection against loneliness. Shared interests create natural conversation and remove the awkwardness of forced social interaction. That is where our little world of trotters, pacers, and wonderful people can shine.

It does not matter whether the hobby is entirely new to you, something you once loved and rediscovered, or an activity you wish to explore more deeply. The key is participation with other people, in person.

Harness racing offers dozens of entry points: Fractional ownership, breeding, training, mild gambling with pals, going to sales, visiting farms, learning pedigrees, jogging horses, and debating yearlings over coffee with a catalog spread across the table.

The beauty is that conversations happen sideways instead of face-to-face. Men, especially, seem to connect more naturally while doing something together rather than sitting across a table attempting deep conversation on command.

A racing program in your hand becomes a social tool. A sales catalog becomes an icebreaker. A drive to the farm becomes therapy disguised as a road trip.

BE ACTIVE

The report also suggests physical movement as another important defense against loneliness and depression. Exercise helps. Motion helps. Simply going somewhere helps. A surprising amount of our sport involves movement and shared experiences. Walking through barns, touring farms, standing near fences watching yearlings train, driving to sales, mucking stalls, or watching qualifiers on a chilly morning before breakfast with friends gets you out and moving.

Maybe these words will find a lonely person.

Maybe that person is you.

Others may be waiting for your invitation. Maybe you can reconnect with an old gang, or create a new one centered around this strange and wonderful little sport of ours.

Walk the barns, buy the coffee, ask questions, and take the drive. You can purchase a slice of ownership, raise a baby horse, or simply spend an afternoon around people who still gather in the real world instead of staring silently into glowing screens. If you are not lonely, maybe forward this column to someone who may benefit.

Our sport has much to offer. We can be good medicine.

And when it comes to fighting loneliness, maybe old Yoda said it best: “Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

Or maybe Dan Peek said it even better nearly 50 years ago when he wrote: “Don’t give up until you drink from the silver cup… You never know until you try.”