The root of a problem
by Trey Nosrac
Many yearlings reach racing age and cannot compete in the sire stakes. They filter down to race at the county fair level. Racing at fairs, especially now that races can be livestreamed, is much better than not racing. Alas, the infield of a county fair racetrack is sometimes less than pristine.
A program of county fair races is streaming on my iPad as I type these words. Behind the ever-magnificent horses in the post parade are hunks of cement the size of refrigerators, large swaths of bare dirt, rusted farm equipment, an abandoned structure, towers of large tires, a discarded concession stand, several aluminum grandstands, and what appears to be a life-sized ceramic alligator without a head.
This quasi-junkyard is aesthetically depressing for visitors and viewers. In truth, the depressing view may not be much of a view at all. Springing to my mind is a fairground in western Pennsylvania where one of my horses raced. The obstructions in the infield were so obtrusive that no matter where you sat or stood, half of the mile race could have taken place in a tunnel.
We are guests, and our horses only race at these fairgrounds for two days each summer. We recognize that money and bureaucracy are always issues. A dozen reasons may be involved in the sorry state of these premises. Painting with a broad brush is unfair; some fairground racetracks are well-maintained. Kudos to those responsible for tidy appearances because you are making a good impression, and racing at a fair level has always been an essential outlet for recruiting participants.
Enough whining. There isn’t much sense in talking about goofy irritants unless you suggest goofy solutions.
Allow me to paint a different picture and create a preposterous plan to improve an ugly image for little to no cost to anyone. It is an elusive win-win scenario that could turn our tawdry fairground racetracks into Augusta National Golf Course or Fenway Park, seas of lush greenery that calm the soul and bring a smile.
The solution rests in the passion many Americans have for lawn care.
A disclaimer. My lawn care history, like my lawns, is spotty. My last house had a large lot, and my horticultural work was rather perfunctory, good enough so my neighbors didn’t staple petitions on my door, and small children would not get lost in the grass. Grade me a C-. You might say I fought the lawn, but the lawn won. Then I moved to a house where a company took over lawn duties. My lawn soared to a solid B+.
B+ is nowhere near good enough for several of my current neighbors. As soon as the lawn company trucks depart around the corner, a few of my neighbors emerge like bees from a hive and mow their lawns a second time using hand mowers to re-mow in intricate patterns, re-edge, and assault stray dandelions with anything from tweezers to bunker-buster bombs.
Many people put significant time, money, work, and pride into their lawns. A beautiful lawn surrounding an estate or castle became fashionable in the Middle Ages. Psychologically, one’s property is associated with perceptions of wealth and status. Lawns represent calm control in a frequently chaotic world. Lawn care is an excellent conversation starter. Lawn care can be good exercise, therapeutic, and bring contentment. My son-in-law has a large lawn, a spiffy riding lawnmower, headphones, and would blissfully mow to Key West.
Above is an AI-generated image. Imagine that the center Axis has a small pond with a fountain (for irrigation). Now imagine that the grid lines are footpaths of mulch, and each grid has a 10 × 10 raised flowerbed in the center of each plot. This vision is the target.
Here is the plan in simple form:
Step one — As soon as the snow melts, have a county worker use a forklift to remove everything from the racetrack infield. This worker is like a farmer preparing and clearing his field, turning the infield into open dirt spaces.
Step two — Lay out the grids for paths.
Step three — Advertise a county-wide horticultural contest for individuals or groups to participate in a raffle that will result in six winners. The six winning teams or individuals will be assigned a section of the infield under their care. They can add soil, fertilize, plant grass, and tend to their sector all spring. At county fair time, the winning plot will be selected by a randomly selected county garden club panel from another county. The proud winner will receive: $500, a trophy, and a plot to defend the title in next year’s competition.
Step Four — Let the growing process begin and schedule the tractor pulls after the harness races. The citizens can enjoy the lush grass and flowers. The horse races must precede events like tractor pulls and demolition derbies that destroy the infield.
This contest/project could be fun, social, positive, and unique. My suggestion is to keep things light (well, as light as serious lawn people allow). While some contestants may be serious sod soloists, I like the idea of groups growing a plot, especially folks in apartments or residential facilities who no longer own lawns and want to return to the game. Just find a few fellow agronomists, drop your hat in the ring to be selected, then, if chosen, name their team something like The Blades of Wrath, The Weed Whispers, Legends of the Lawn, The Lawn Rangers, or Gods of the Sods.
I can visualize lovely-looking fairgrounds blooming and growing every season. Walking the paths could be an addition to the fair. Local greenhouses would benefit by selling grass seed, fertilizers, plants, flowers, manure, straw, and garden tools. Harness races would get a considerable boost from lawnsters doing what they love and making improvements.
Who loses except the headless alligator?
Book it, Dano.
