by Trey Nosrac

Trey attended a recent yearling horse auction for fun, not to buy. No buying this time, not a chance, never again.

This time, it’s a trotting colt, a can’t-miss prospect. How and why do I do it?

How I finance these horse deals is a little tricky. Here is my fascinating formula. I calculate the future earnings of the yearling, then subtract this ephemeral amount from the purchase price. This complex form of math is known only to standardbred afflicted humans and mythical gnomes. The purchase becomes a temporary cash flow when you KNOW the yearling in the sales ring will make $50,000 as a 2-year-old racehorse. This mindset makes a yearling purchase more manageable. I’m sure many of you in the harness racing game have similar formulas.

Why I purchase a yearling is tricky, but conspiracy theories are all the rage. I read on a blog that someone heard on a podcast about the atmosphere situation in the sales arena. Everybody except the sheep knows that horse sales companies are in bed with the deep state and inject a strange, odorless, invisible gas into the ventilation system that causes unsuspecting mortals to forget our financial situation and imagine the yearling they fixate on is THE ONE.

A second theory for making a questionable purchase of a yearling racehorse is that more and more people crave attention. It is easy to nod when a chum casually asks the fateful question, “You want a piece of the (filly, colt, trotter, pacer)?” Joining your pals, tribe, and clan makes raising your hand and signing a clipboard easy. If you crave even more attention, there is a feeling of exhilaration in winning the bidding for a yearling. You are the show’s star for a few moments as they photograph you signing a sales ticket. In my case, the sales company arranges a “chaining to the chair ceremony” until the payment is assured.

The hows and whys concerning horse ownership in the previous paragraphs are flippant. Let’s get serious and ask Chat GPT – “What are a dozen reasons a person purchases a young racehorse?” The answer was almost instantaneous:

• Tax benefits

• Financial potential

• Prestige

• Love of horses

• Family tradition

• Nostalgia

• Diversifying investments

• Breeding prospects

• Potential for sponsorships

• Social and lifestyle benefits

• Passion for horse racing

• Improve gambling skills

I asked for another dozen reasons. They were as rapid, vapid, and stupid as the original list. The Chat GPT thing creeps me out, so I shut off my computer and made a margarita. After a second dose of the bracing beverage, I closed my eyes and listed my reasons for purchasing a yearling and staying in this challenging sport. My list is short. I didn’t even need a pencil to write it down:

• Friends — If I don’t have friends to share the ride, I’m not riding.

• An adventure into the unknown — People don’t get that many chances to take a flyer.

• A trotter in motion in the morning — This still takes my breath away.

You may notice that my reasons do not mention making money. I am not delusional enough to consider racehorse ownership a cash cow or portfolio stuffer. Money would be far down any comprehensive list of reasons for playing. Money in horse racing falls under “You pay for your thrills.”

Speaking of money, Trey’s significant other greeted the news of the new yearling purchase with withering silence and theatrical eye-rolling. I tried to explain the inexplicable to her:

“I only bought a quarter of this one.”

She said, “That means nothing. The purchase price could be a million.”

“Twenty grand,” I said.

She gasped, “For your share or the whole horse?”

“Whole horse, I’m only in for five grand.”

With a finger wag, she said, “You blithely dismiss the monthly upkeep of the animal.”

“Blightly dismiss! What is this, Masterpiece Theater?”

I smiled, hugged her, and said, “We won’t even notice the money is gone.”

She stepped back and placed her hands atop her lovely head, sighed, and said, “Until we need a new car and, you know, food.”

“Ah, darlin,’ I got a strange feeling this one is THE ONE. Success was in the air at the sales arena.”